I was in the ICOC for over 10 years and back then we were taught everything in black and white. We felt secure there was one God, one church, one baptism. We were sure who was lost and who was saved. We were confident in one-on-one discipling. We knew we had to be on top of visiters, follow-ups, regular contributions and special contributions. We swollowed everything hook, line and sinker that came on KNN (Kingdom News Net) or that we read in “Shining like stars”. We endured the heavy D-groups, the rebukes for not bringing a visiter for 2 months, accepting advise in dating and the heavy schedule. We were certain we were putting the bible in practice, that were held to one standard while all other churches were just religious (maybe there was a church out there doing it, but we hadn’t seen it yet…) We new that all the criticism out there against us was just Satan having a go at us, or bitter people who wanted to tear us down. And we were sure that everyone in leadership was chosen by God, and that we should just get behind them.
But of course, all that changed, or was in the process of changing, round the time of Henry Kriete’s letter. Suddenly things that were suppressed came to light and many things were thrown into question. There was a sense of upheaval, perhaps liberating for some and painful for others. Many realised that we were also guilty of the very things we’d critised the religious world for -being legalistic and hypocritical. In many ways the church propoganda had been teaching people to rely on the church culture and leadership rather than simply on the gospel. There had been much abuse going on within the system, and few checks and balances against abuse -thus people leaving the ICOC in droves. (And yet some churches didn’t change much at all).
Now this is the lesson I’m learning in my post-ICOC world: it is up to me to solidify my faith again and gain convictions from the bible again. If the ICOC made itself the basis of my faith, then it was no faith at all because it’s not based on the gospel -but I’ve decided I’m not going to let any bad experiences steal my faith. My faith is based on the gospel. What that means in concrete terms is going over and coming to my own conclusions on what I believe, such as one-on-one discipling, tithing and the many other things taught from the ICOC. To not do this leaves me vulnerable again to the many politics of different churches going on at the moment or to just give up on my faith altogether.
So, recently reading back over some of the letters in the NT, I’ve seen in a way it’s the same old story -there was no easy Christianity then and there isn’t one now. There is no infallible fellowship…One major fault of the ICOC was to have us believe it was easy -that the ICOC was this infallible package of salvation. Just stay in and follow like one of the spokes in the wheel -leave and you lose your salvation. We used to think being in the ICOC had all the answers. Big mistake.
Now I see the first step for me is accepting that there are no easy answers. I’ve made my first decision about one-on-one discipling and therefore I’ll have no part of the ICOC revival if it’s trying to bring the same system in. The answer is not looking back. The answer isn’t to go back to some comfortable ICOC umbrella just so everything feels familar and falls into place. It’s time for old Christians and those who spent the years in the ICOC to accept that the way forward isn’t some simple package, that there are many mistakes we need to learn from, that the elements of faith, conscience and love are what’s needed.
And also, wisdom especially. I believe that’s what wisdom is about -telling the difference between what’s right and wrong when things are blurry, and the politics and propaganda are thick and thorny. Not just making judgments based on the surface, but seeking to go beneath the surface. To find ways to tell who’s sincere and who’s dodgy. The bible constantly reminds us of the cunning and craftiness of men and you can’t take things for granted outside a fellowship or within a fellowship.
